


Return of the Melted Ice Cream

by TheAwkwardLadyJay



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen, M/M, Sort Of, This is a crack fic, background dantistache, but it's mentioned a couple of times, some of the other ipliers are mentioned, the jims are crazy, the jims being the jims, yogurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 01:16:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17012787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAwkwardLadyJay/pseuds/TheAwkwardLadyJay
Summary: Nobody had ever considered yogurt to be dangerous. Until the Jims found some. Now Wilford is just trying to keep history from repeating itself and keep himself and the other egos alive.





	Return of the Melted Ice Cream

**Author's Note:**

> Have some more Jims! *chucks four distressed news bois and runs*

Wilford didn’t know how or why the yogurt was in the fridge but there it was. It had just appeared the other day, sitting on the top shelf like that was perfectly normal. Except it wasn’t. Nobody in the house ate yogurt, especially not peach yogurt. Not after what happened last time.      

He squinted at the yogurt and reached out to grab it but stopped before he could touch it. He looked over his shoulder carefully. If _they_ found out this was here, all hell would break loose. He studied the small container a little longer, his mustache wiggling nervously. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like this one bit.

He shut the fridge door and spun in a small circle, bringing one hand to his chin. A mysterious yogurt, a possible catastrophe, and a lack of bubbles. Usually, he would be down for this kind of thing. But this was a special case. A case he desperately didn’t want a repeat of. Suddenly, a thought wriggled into his sugar infused brain.

What if that wasn’t the only yogurt in the house?

A heavy pit formed in his gut. If _they_ had managed to find some yogurt, there was no stopping _them_.

A worried frown made his mustache droop. It was time to go on a Jim hunt.

He found the Jims surprisingly easily. They were all gathered in the backyard, crouched over something that Wilford couldn’t make out.

“Hello, old boys!” Wilford cried, hiding his nervousness behind a wide smile. He stopped behind Reporter Jim, “Whatcha got there?”

The four men jumped and flipped around, staring up at him with their wide eyes.

“It’s the Candy Man!” Reporter Jim yelped, his ever-present microphone held to his mouth. He scurried around Wilford, his head flipping to and fro. When he settled back down, he turned to Cameraman Jim, a serious glint in his eye, “Alright, Jim. The Candy Man just appeared on the scene but the demon is nowhere to be found. What could have caused the demon to abandon his faithful lover so? Perhaps a lover’s quarrel caused a separation that only true love can mend! Or, mayhaps, the demon died a truly morbid death by shark, leaving the Candy Man nothing but nature to calm his tormented soul! Or, may-”

Wilford rolled his eyes and knelt next to the man, “Jim, I’m loving your passion here but stop.”

Reporter Jim nodded sagely, “The Candy Man is right. There is more pressing news to cover than the drama of two split lovers.”

Wilford tensed, “And what would that be?”

All the Jims gave each other a look. There was silence for several minutes, the Jims communicating in their own Jimmy way. Eventually, Newscaster Jim whispered into the microphone, “The Return of the Melted Ice Cream.”

Wilford swallowed thickly. “The what?”

Weatherman Jim picked up the thing they had been circling and held it out, pure worship in his eyes, “The melted ice cream has returned to us, just as Mother Jim foretold it would.”

Cupped in his hands was a single, opened tub of peach yogurt.

Wilford scrambled back. This was far worse than he had thought.

The Jims all turned to the yogurt excitedly, completely forgetting about Wilford in favor of devouring their favorite treat.

Wilford didn’t stay long enough to see them finish the yogurt. He needed to warn the others, before the yogurt set in fully.

He slammed into Dark’s office, panting heavily, “Dark, we have a problem!”

Dark let out a heavy sigh, not bothering to look up from his work “What did you do?”

Wilford huffed in offense, placing a hand on his hip, “Why do you immediately assume it was me? How many other troublemakers live in this house?”

Dark glanced at him, one eyebrow raised, “Do you really want me to answer that?”

Wilford glared at him, “No, I don’t.”

A crash from below caught their attention and Wilford paled. Dark sat up straight, his shell beginning to waver.

“Wil, what is going on?”

“Okay, it wasn’t my fault,” Wilford jabbered, “but the Jims got a hold of some yogurt.”

Dark growled and stood, striding past Wil, the ringing that followed him around rising in pitch, “What flavor?”

“Peach.”

Dark whirled on him, his shell shattering, sending blue and red across the walls. “What!? How did they get peach yogurt!?”

Wilford shook his head, “I don’t know! There’s a tub of it in the fridge and they already ate another one. I don’t know who brought it in but I’m worried it’s already too late.”

Another crash came from the floor below them. It was followed by muttered chanting. Dark turned to Wilford. His face was set in a deeper scowl than usual. He brushed a hand through his hair. “Get everybody out of the house. If they already ate the yogurt, there’s nothing we can do but hope.”

Wilford nodded and ran to do as he was told. He looked over his shoulder to see Dark straighten his jacket before striding down the stairs. Wil squeezed his eyes shut and ran faster, a silent plea for good luck running through his head.

He found everybody in the meeting hall. They were gathered around the table, going over some idea Bing had come up with during a fever dream.

“We need to get out! Now!” Wilford hollered, almost breaking the door down in his hurry to enter the room, “There’s been a Code Jim!”

The room fell silent and everybody turned to him, the words echoing off the walls before they settled into everybody’s ears. Then there was chaos.

“A Code Jim? How?”

“We’re all going to die!!”

Wilford did his best to guide everyone out, shepherding them towards the nearest exit. Eventually, after he lost sight of somebody for the tenth time, he pulled his gun out and shot at the ceiling. “Everybody calm down! Dark is taking care of the Jims right now but if we keep acting like idiots, his sacrifice will be for nothing! Now get in a line and walk like civilized people!”

To his surprise, everybody did as they were told. He continued to guide them out of the house, leading them into the nearby grove of trees. Dark joined them soon after, his suit in noticeable disarray. He had a grim look on his face and shook his head when he met Wil’s eyes, “They’re to far gone.”

They all stood and stared at the house. From here, it looked perfectly normal. But they all knew the horrors it held within.

A small tug on his shirt caught Wilford’s attention. He turned to find Bing standing next to him, looking worried.

“What are we going to do?”

Wilford sighed and patted the robot’s bicep. “Nothing. All we can do is wait. Besides that, we can only hope that that was the only yogurt in the house. Otherwise, we’re good as dead. A Jim with a tub of yogurt is not something many people survive.” He settled into the grass and patted the spot next to him. “May as well get comfortable. We’re going to be here for a while.”

The robot sat next to him and everybody followed suit. They all looked towards the house, a heavy silence filling the air.

All they could do was wait and hope. So that’s all they did.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and chat with me on my tumblr, theawkwardladyjay, or just yell at me on here! Either is appreciated <3


End file.
